Not to be a luddite, but can we talk about phones?

Sep 30

Technology is great and all but as a therapist, I think it’s safe to say that spending hours on our phones can be considered harmful. Picture it (Golden Girls nod), you’re at a restaurant getting lunch with friends and there is at least one person in your vicinity that is on their phone, if not an entire table of people. Or how often are you in public and notice people walking around with their faces in their phones, practically walking into people or a stop sign! Or on the road! The next time you’re in the passenger seat of a car, count how many drivers have their eyes glued to their phone and not the road.

I’m going to pause here and take a few deep breaths.

We can’t seem to get enough of our phones. According to a 2025 survey by PEW Research Center, more than half of adults in the US are spending too much time on their phones and many have made attempts to decrease their screen time. PEW surveyed nearly 10,000 people and found that 70% of adults ages 18-29, 64% of adults ages 30-49, 49% of adults ages 50-64, and 25% of adults 65+ feel they are spending too much time on their phones. Then I wonder why are these folks reporting spending too much time on their phones? They must be feeling some kind of trigger for that response.

The average amount of time spent on a smart phone in the US is about 7 hours a day! This obviously changes depending on the age groups, but the number is astounding. That’s a full day of work and yet the research shows it’s likely entertainment or social media. And we all know that social media companies will never change their ad-based profit model and algorithms, so they’re hoping the numbers go up for the sake of capitalism.

I’m going to pause again and take a few deep breaths.

I want to pay close attention to phones and driving. According to a 2024 report, there were over 300,000 distracted driving incidents and sadly 3,208 people were killed in a cell phone related car accident. There are no federal laws in place to ban phones while driving, only state specific at this time. I think it’s safe to say that the number of incidents have likely been underreported and increased since 2024. We all know what it feels like to get a message and have the sudden urge to check.

Addiction

Are we addicted to our phones? Probably. But we live in a world where we can’t really function as well without our phones. We apply for jobs on our phones. We pay our bills with our phones. We pay for groceries with our phones. We talk to our friends on apps. Some people spend their time trolling in the comment section and causing drama. Either way all day long, we are attached to our phones. Cell phone addiction is currently being studied and will likely be in the DSM soon enough.

From the perspective of a therapist, actions can become a problem when they have a negative impact on the person’s responsibilities, mood, daily functioning, relationships with our peers and loved ones, productivity at work, and sleep. These behaviors can easily become habit forming and compulsive after so much reenacting. From what we’ve learned over the last decade, it’s clear that apps, phones, and tech companies are obviously trying to perpetuate addictive behaviors for profit. We are inundated with ads, spam, bots, etc.

So we know that addiction is likely happening to all of us. What about communication skills being challenged through text because we are missing out on context. We don’t know if someone is joking and might be left feeling confused. We are also exposed to so much information in such a short amount of time, that our brains are left feeling overloaded, wired, and exhausted. How often does time slip away while you are scrolling on socials? I can imagine that most people who use those apps get caught up in a thread of a new craft skill or exercise routine, then look up at the time to realize that it’s been over two hours. Did this hypothetical person start that new craft or exercise routine? Probably not.

In this interview with a psychology professor at Georgetown University, there is discussion about cell phone addiction and the impact on our wellbeing. The professor highlights that we are spending more time on our phones rather than doing things like exercise, spending time with others in real life and sleeping. And, I would suggest reading my previous blog entry to understand my true thoughts on sleep! But the take home message is offering insight on displacement, not spending time doing other things while being on our phone, and encouraging small social interactions as a way for people to feel better connected and safe.

What happens next?

It took a long time to happen but we know that Meta has been held accountable for the negative impacts of social media on teens. The 2026 settlement from over half the states in this country has called on Meta to enact more safety regulations for teen accounts and an implementation for less notifications features. This is only the beginning. I’m sure you could think of other things Meta could be doing to promote less addictive behaviors for people of all ages.

It’s become normal to be on our phones out of boredom or when we might be feeling anxious and want a distraction. This is kind of the expectation in some settings. Again, think about the last time you were in a waiting room. How many people were actually not on a smart device? But just because something is normalized, doesn’t mean that it’s good for us. I highly recommend this article about cell phone addition and self help tips to create change. It also includes one of the most pertinent statements that applies to our society: “instead of ever being alone with our thoughts, we’re now always online and connected.”

We should also pay close attention to what people are spending their time doing while scrolling. In the same article, they mention some interesting research about the psychological impacts, specific problematic behaviors online, possible symptoms of cell phone addiction, and some advice for parents of teens. I appreciate them mentioning the importance of modeling healthy boundaries with technology for the younger generations. Psychologically, kids can pick up on what is considered normal in a household and if dad is spending any free moment on his phone, then what is that telling a child?

There is a significant impact on our mental health as well. Thankfully, there are many studies paying close attention to increases in anxiety as a result of the constant stream of notifications which gives a person the sense of urgency or FOMO. There are also complicated impacts on self esteem, waiting for validation from comments or likes and comparing ourselves to others leading to thoughts of worthlessness.

It’s also interesting to consider the link between excessive phone use and loneliness. In this article, they focus on the psychological impact of smart phones and highlight increased senses of boredom, anxiety, and depression. It’s important to note that boredom happens. There used to be a time when we were allowed to be bored and not entertained constantly. There could even be benefits to sitting with our thoughts as a way to help navigate challenging situations in life.

Suggestions

My biggest piece of advice would be to consider what your relationship is with your phone. Not the multiple uses of the device, but just the relationship. Maybe it’s time to consider other activities as a place holder. Or maybe it’s time to meet up with your best friend rather than waiting for the best time for that marathon of a phone call.

This could be considered an experiment. Check your screen activity on your phone but try not to hold any judgement. Pay attention to the apps used most and question whether you are obtaining anything other than entertainment. The next step would be to consider if there are any changes you want to make. Again try to do this without judgement. Then take one step at a time. Do you need all of your apps to send you notifications? What are some healthy substitutions you can use instead of being on your phone? I encourage you to consider any fluctuation or changes in mood. You might surprise yourself.

It might even be helpful to write things down. Like what are the specific changes you are making to daily use and how this impacts your mood. Don’t forget that making changes to our habits or behaviors is incredibly hard, so failing could naturally involved.

And if you feel stuck and nothing is happening the way you want, just remember there is a high probability that someone you know is also struggling.

Okay. That’s enough screen time!

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